Stainless Stephen

Who was Stainless Stephen?

Arthur Clifford Baynes was an English teacher and comedian from the steel-making city of Sheffield, Yorkshire, who performed under the stage name Stainless Stephen.

Never quite in the front rank of British music hall comedians, he would appear dressed in a smart tuxedo, a bowler hat with a steel band around it, a rotating bow tie, and a stainless steel vest. Perhaps third on the bill, this may explain why he did not give up his day job at Crookes Endowed School, which he joined in 1922 after his demobilisation. That is until 1935, when he moved to London to be nearer the BBC. His first stage appearance was at the Palace, Luton, in 1921.

His speciality was that during his intoned monologue, he would interrupt the flow by supplying the punctuation, thus:

This is Stainless aimless brainless Stephen, semi-colon, broadcasting semi-conscious at the microphone semi-frantic.

Closing a broadcast on 22 March 1941, he said:

And so, countrymen, semi-colon, all shoulders to the wheel, semi-quaver, we'll carry on till we get the Axis semi-circle, and Hitler asks us for a full stop!

He is said to have based the idea on a radio course he did while doing military service. Stainless Stephen appeared in Radio Parade, a film of current music hall acts. He supported Will Hay at the Victoria Palace in 1944, and appeared on the bill at the London Palladium's Royal Command Performance in 1945.